ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
