His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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