so explain again why im purple
no
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize