i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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