I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
