90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I love having hate sex.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
