Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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