So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
