I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
