In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
