Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
