My room smells like vodka and shame
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
