Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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