normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
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I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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