Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
