it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I'm like, not good at living.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
