The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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