I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
