Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came