1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet