roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts