Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
