You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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