Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
