that's an acceptable place to lick
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
