If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
