so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Randomize
