Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
