Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
