Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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