Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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