I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize