if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I love you.
Bad choice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
