Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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