Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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