sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ladies don't puke and tell
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
