When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i just had sex bonerless
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
