Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
