actually, I'm a sock model
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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