Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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