I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
