He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
