I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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