Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
