how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
