Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize