I hate all girls vehemently.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
