Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
