Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
