Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize