Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
