I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
