drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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