Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize