O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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