She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
my poor anus
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
