You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm always down for nudity.
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