I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Randomize
