he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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