I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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