I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
