The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
