you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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