I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I understand Curling. That high.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
