his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was like his penis was on wheels.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
