New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
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