i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
