Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
two words...techno handjob
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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