I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
