What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
